What happened to Splinter News?

Wait, does Aaron think Domino’s uses locally grown ingredients? Does he not know that ship the ingredients to all stores? I think the cheese comes from a factory in Colorado, the same one the produces the cheese for all the national brands.

Very happy for Holden. Tremendous person. Very happy to see him overcome and get a ring with the patriots. Bob Kraft, he says I’d takeover the league by the way and that’s why I didn’t get a team, ok—fear and jealous these lovely buildings with my name—he says I’m probably the best football mind, I was great on the…

Titanic is number 2, and I don’t think it’s getting a sequel.

He was never impeached. He resigned before it happened.

I’m pretty sure Kris is Elim Garak.

The true monster in all this, what really exists, is the 30,000 emails Hillary deleted criminally, criminally deleted after getting a subpoena. And those Americans who died on her watch in Benghazi. Did you listen to their mothers? Such a nasty woman. 

Patriots. Fumbling in the last few minutes of the super bowl after successfully driving the field with a succession of passes.

“It’s strange to edit a feminist website when almost nothing offends you, because the feminist website is traditionally imagined to run on offense.”

If you search jezebel.com with google, you’ll not find an article written by jezebel stating that jezebel is not a feminist blog. The only things that pop up are comments like yours, stating that you’ve seen this written.

Why even worry about the check? Just open a business and get a line of credit, then use that to pay. At the end of the month, have your lawyer declare bankruptcy on the business. These lenders aren’t babies. These are total killers. These are not the nice, sweet little people that you’d think, OK? Stick them with the…

This is classy kinja.

Nice.

Why not just have your attorney do it? I don’t understand what the big deal is. Whenever there’s any trouble I just yell “Mikey, fix it,” and then I have one of the girls in the office bring me a sandwich. Breaking up is easy. I’m the best at breaking up.

This is because Hillary is a crook, ok? Look, I’ve got a lot of friends in the justice department – I bring them out to Trump National all the time. They’re actually not very good, a lot of bogeys, not like me, I’m really great at golf. I own lots of courses. And they all say she’s a crook. A big time crook. And…

Obviously, New York is the best, I own half the city. And the other half has my name on it anyway, which also makes it the classiest. And who cares about the other half that’s not Manhattan, my island?

I can help. I have the best words. I’m very smart; I went to Wharton. There’s decisions that are going to have to be made to get to the bottom of this, and I’m going to have my people take a look at these words. I’m very strong on words. We’re going to make words great again.

Beautiful, just beautiful. Melania is so lucky to see that. She’s very beautiful too by the way. Probably the most beautiful. And I’m beautiful, all the women say so. That’s why I had a mirror install above the headboard of my bed, so I can see me. I’m a very smart, beautiful man.

Golf is fantastic, everybody knows this. I’ve got lots of friends who play golf, they all tell me it’s great. The best. It’s the best sport ever. These men out there golfing are real athletes. You can ask anybody.