“Not again! Ah well, there’s no getting that nut back.”

AKA Zombie McGregor

Police say they should’ve seen this coming. Amorino and her daughter have previous arrests for scalping.

Look, in all seriousness, as a longtime Cavs fan, I can only hope Irving turns out to have been right all along. I really do. I hope that, in Boston, his dream comes true, and he falls right off the face of the Earth.

+1

Dan Gilbert has posted the following letter on the team’s website:

The UFC and the boxing powers that be know exactly what they’re doing. As someone raised Irish-racist, I can confirm that in the Irish American boy’s fantasy of winning life with his fists, you must always first defeat the Italian before you fight the black guy.

Looks like somebody failed to pass the bar this morning.

Curt Schilling: [sees footage of Beckham crumpled in pain]

He issued an apology last month, admitting that he took the wrong approach to the situation and saying that he’s a better person now.

Aw now the other football has its own…

My life’s purpose is bigger than football.

I have never watched this show, didn’t watch this clip, and don’t recognize two of these guys, but still, I fully agree with Maxim Jon Stewart.

Meanwhile, Roenick missed the correction, being too busy Googling to see if Manti T’eo’s dead girlfriend was hot.

I think that elephant just left the room because a little mouse ran in here. Didn’t they elephants is scared of mouses or something? That motherfucker left, cousin.

This is sure to bring legions of hateful white people to Bucs games to curse the organization. They should fit right in with the fans.

Jesus Christ. We could eliminate so much future social awkwardness by making white high school kids read that David Simon Tweet.

My flawed philosophy was, We’re going to score points early while we’re figuring it out on the other side with a young defense.

Come on, Albert. I mean, Trump’s no born leader, and he’s obviously got less business acumen than he’d have us think. And, okay, sure, he’s closer to Gomer Pyle than Albert Einstein on the old intelligence spectrum. But narcissistic?

***SPOILERS TO FOLLOW***