Can’t

Marvin Harrison, number 1 with a bullet.

Papelbon’s gonna be in so much trouble when Trump’s “Speak English” program kicks in.

There’s also this:

Why couldn’t 2016 just take the guy from Spin Doctors instead?

Never thought we’d lose two awesome Princes in one year.

Pacquiao: No more talk! It’s time for me to fight drugs!

yeah. who the hell wears socks in the house?

It was a benchmark until the writers forgot what they were doing and put three of the main characters in a fish tank for most of season 4

Nobody should be thinking about Lost anymore.

Speak English? Why would I want him speaking like a British twat? Dude better learn to speak American or get out.

The Cardinals’ 26-32 home record is DELICIOUS.

“Do Right Way or do not. There is no try.”

I was at a bar in St. Louis yesterday waiting for my train back to Chicago. There was a 40 something year old guy at the bar who kept yelling “Goddamnit!” and “Come on!”. Figured it was because of the Cards losing, nope, according to our waitress, he got a rock of cocaine lodged in his phone somehow and couldn’t get…

This all year, will you do?

At least it was against the Powerhouse Braves. I expect the Cards will do better when they reach the softer part of their schedule.

Ironically, you’re the 500th person to make that “joke”

“I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say ‘I’m hungry,’ so it died.” - Mitch Hedberg

Michael: “People love J.J. Watt, but they don’t really like J.J. Watt, know what I’m saying?”

“I bought a seven dollar pen because I’m always losing pens and I’m sick of not caring.” - Mitch Hedberg