Suspicious, considering they had to cull millions of chickens recently because of the avian flu outbreak. Their loss, our gain!

Can we just start referring to Santos as “Miss Kitara”?

“That’s one of the healthiest ways to deal with an ex who’s moved on with a 21-year-old.”

But I want my taxes to go towards bombing third world countries!

“I was told that I’d never work again if I sued a major network. And that scared me.

The conspiracy theorist in my blames Energy Star. I had the same issue as you did with electric stoves until I used one that was made in the 70's. It didn’t have that annoying thing where the coil would shut off after a few minutes, then come back on after taking a break. It was on 100% of the time and boiled water as…

Let’s infantilize grown women!

I doubt Murray would try anything with someone he actually respected around. He seems to enjoy humiliating people who don’t have his star power or above.

Yep. There’s no HR on the set. 

He does need to answer for Chet Haze. 

If the car is behind me I just reposition my rearview mirror and side mirrors to reflect the light back at the driver. Usually does the trick and they turn off their high beams. 

Honestly, if someone reported a student with a gun the protocol should be to immediately evacuate the school.

Yeah that’s the problem with being “first”. Your competitors will simply let you do the R&D heavy lifting - and make all the mistakes - then wipe the floor with you. 

Social media is like religion for a lot of people.

This is a multi millionaire professional football player sitting in business class. Just buckle that shit up for him and go about your business. 

Sounds like the job description.

I use the rosemary sprigs to fish those out of my teeth.

So Musk is now going to start disabling Tesla features for people who don’t lick his balls on Twitter?

False flag! Go eat a bag of dicks....

Just happy he didn’t feel the beat of the rhythm of the cop's nightstick.