Just heat it to above 180 degrees before putting it on your salad.

Same guy would quote MLK - only, the “judge you by the content of your character” part, mind you - and not be able to pick him out of a lineup.

Can’t wait for the Fox News “Dominique Wilkins needs to stick with dribbling a ball instead of trying to eat” take...

Eric Clapton is a big old racist

If only there was a place where you could just type in the name of the bar you want to visit and see if they are family friendly. 

I wrap most of my produce in paper towels before I put them in the crisper in the plastic shop bags. Sure, it makes it a little harder to tell what I have, but shit lasts for a long time.

Kettleman’s in Portland was legit, but they got bought out by Noah's/Einstein's about ten years ago, and the quality dropped. Portland is also a wasteland when it comes to good deli sandwiches. 

Yep. I know a guy whose family is pretty well off and he works for the city because he loves working with tools. 

Soooo...dealer prepped is not a good thing, I’m assuming. 

He definitely liberated something.

Sam Rockwell was pretty damn good.

I know, right? He had to know this would come out if he ever decided to run for political office... yet fucker did it anyways and tried to turn this disgusting mess into a quaint origin story. 

Fix the freaking ice cream machines, too.

Where do I submit my resume for the open crack inspector position? I have extensive experience inspecting many cracks. 

Maybe if “shorts” today weren’t basically underwear...

Who do you think Obama hates more, Trump or Putin? I remember he absolutely despised Vladi. 

No love for the SX4?

No Kona? Even their 7.2% IPA (Gold Cliff) is super drinkable.

Maybe try one of those pheromone things that plug into the wall. It helped with our skittish cat after we moved. Then again, some cats are just naturally antisocial.

I’m just imagining my friends who have moved to TX from CA in the last few years realizing why it’s so cheap to buy a home there.