Huh. And here I always thought USC was in the shitty part of town.

Father Duck: [comes home]
Father Duck: [hangs up coat]
Father Duck: [slumps onto recliner]
Father Duck: Quaaaaaack.
Mother Duck: Quack?
Father Duck: Quack quack. Quack quack quaaaaack quack quack.
Mother Duck: [nervously fingers apron]
Mother Duck: Quack... quack quack quack.
Father Duck: QUACK?? QUACK QUACK QUACK!
Daughter…

Abby/ie/i: [puts on American flag tank] "These colors don't run."

Abby (Abbie? Abbi?)

She was game to do it in the first place. And, she got tackled before she reached the infield. So no one can accuse her of having sand in her vagina.

Texts I got from a friend once.

because he's fat lol

A nude athlete? Isn't Sean Newell supposed to post this?

Proposing in public places (not to mention on a portrait mode video) is rude and just wrong.

I can already tell these two are getting divorced, as the guy is clearly treating it like a practice marriage.

Keep going, I'm almost there.

That's a very strange response.

Relax girls, you're both pretty.

Have all these people never experienced a leg cramp, or have they forgotten how much it hurts, or are they just choosing to ignore that?

Yo dude, probably shouldn't have been flying around to fuck Dwight Howard.

Fuck. Touche. In all fairness, I'm just want 16 year old's to be on the lookout.

Meanwhile Dwight Howard is talking some 16 year old into coming over for beerpong and anal because Deadspin refuses to report on it.

Speculation? There's photos of him holding her hand and sitting on a bed with her.