Puny? I'd say it was worth more than 50 cents.

As someone who grew up in Detroit, I find it pretty rich how we can put a statue of a cop downtown yet can't afford the real thing.

Excessive masturbation or excessive beating the shit out of your baby mama?

EDIT: Sorry, I didn't see "Montana" 'til just now.

I'm sorry but in which pixel did the play take place? I can't tell because they filmed it with a fucking 1994 Nintendo Gameboy.

Let's not forget that Steve was killed by Bill Gates on that "Black Friday" episode of South Park last year.

You call it "going to church", he calls it "speed dating".

Removes glasses? It's fucking 11pm.

Rory McIlroy forgot his phone at home so sent his carrier pigeon to break up with his new fiance instead.

Well, I think Detroit just found a new sister city.

I'm so sorry. WWII must have been so traumatic for you.

The last time something fell from the sky and took out 10 million Japanese in a small, crowded space was the end of World War II.

Dammit 'Bron, I told you I wanted to guard Lance!

Meh. The Thunder have preferred Duncan's Donuts over Starbucks for a while now.

Judge: "Okay, Jacob. Spell the words sexual intercourse."

They grow tails each morning, yes.

I live in Michigan (which is a YES USA country in USA) and we have crackheads and shit that will also attack your pets and children. Super Scary!

Worse than butt-fumble.

Especially since House Learning High is known for heavy English homework.