They're both bottom feeders of the Big Ten. NW went 1-7 in conference and Michigan is nothing short of rubber dog shit. I'm a Spartan so besides Ohio State and maybe Wisconsin, playing Nebraska is one of the bigger pains in our ass each year.

Brady Hoke and Pat Fitzgerald do that every year and nobody throws as much as a bitch fit as the Nebraska fans did. They also didn't tell the fanbase to eat a dick, but still...

Define "shitty team" for me, please. He went 9-4 last season in the Big Ten, which isn't necessarily a pillow fight.

The last time I remember seeing pussy on a football field was when Vodka Samm was getting carried away in handcuffs. So epic.

This magical moment would've never happened if the "fine" natives of Nebraska who wanted him fired had gotten their way.

If it's a girl we'll name her Jennifer. If it's a boy we'll name him Harry. And if it comes out looking like Whoopi Goldberg with a penis, well...Jenrry.

Why is this girl complaining? I wish that I ended up in the hospital after a night with Colin.

Thug.

Those boys sure did earn their red wings this season.

Are you fucking serious or is this a joke?

Forward to 1:36. You're welcome.

Fuck em, lets burn it. Nobody could possibly be offended.

Okay.

So when you're not trolling on Deadspin, you're hanging out with Ashley Wagner, correct?

I'd do her in the butt but that golden spoon she has up there would probably make it less enjoyable.

Don't be that guy.

Chris Paul was destined to become the ultimate team player...

Ehrhoff? More like Earoff.

I have no clue who any of these people are, including "The Killers".

...and who said the Cubs can't hit?!