Wait — he’s leaving...?

Yeah, that’s what I did — clearly I rationalized it and didn’t own it. Go fuck yourself.

Bethlehem Shoals is the worst sportswriter of the not-Mariotti/Bayless ilk, and it’s not particularly close. I could pick one of his self-adoring sentences out of a Sunday New York Times in 45 seconds.

I remain convinced that you should level with him, no bullshit. Tell him how much this eats at you, and how important it is. I feel like you need to get this resolved* before you can let your marriage be what it can be.

Thanks. Yeah, I mean, there was obviously a reason I did it. I kind of feel like it was a bad tooth I needed to get pulled, but I did and it’s gone. Kind of wish I didn’t have to go through so much to learn the lesson, but here we are and everything is really good now.

Maybe. I know I did.

I think it’s pretty much NOT the norm. Don’t worry!

I mentioned this earlier — it was really complicated, but suffice to say she was a co-worker and there were workplace repercussions. Plus: female intuition.

Well, it’s been about 9 years, we’ve got a wonderful 8-year-old son, and we love each other very much. So I think we’re in good shape. It comes up every now and then in small ways, but for the most part we’re past it. Another good thing here is that I’m not tempted to do it again. I’m thankful for what I have, and I’m…

Yes, that’s what I did. And then I figured out why I’d been so stupid. Obviously I didn’t just write it off.

Wow. That’s heavy. Here’s my thought: Send the kids to a friend’s house and lay it out on the table. Don’t fuck around. Tell him your suspicions and tell him how high the stakes are. Having this bomb just sitting there underneath your relationship is not good for anyone.

Here’s some news: People make fucking mistakes. Sometimes something comes up that they hadn’t planned on and they do something really fucking stupid and they later regret it deeply. Maybe you’re unfamiliar with this concept.

As I re-read this, though, I realize I have a huge problem with what you wrote: Did you really “humblebrag” about it? I bet you straight-up bragged about it. Come on, be honest.

I think that undoubtedly played a role, too. Life is suddenly real and your ideas of who you might be/were going to be are no longer valid. This is where you are. For those of us who weren’t ready or were afraid, cheating becomes some sort of valve for pressure/fear. I’m not excusing it at all, and I hope it doesn’t…

Thanks for the sanctimony lesson.

Sorry. Sounds really hard. My thoughts: Walk. You’ll be glad you did.

Good for you! Same thing here.

Well said. Totally agree.

Ok, well, I went through this very thing and told my wife. It was agonizing, but it forced me to look at my shit and get my act together. I’m in a much better place, and my marriage is, too. If I kept inside, it would’ve always been there. Now it’s out and gone, and we’re both better for it.

Sorry to hear it. Good luck moving on.