I heard that Nick Offerman's beard was secretly fathered by Kurt Russell's mustache.

Dar-Korse?

Catering provided by Tomcar-Vell

Damn this entertainment journalism site for reporting on entertainment industry talk!

She used to own a cab company called Taxi Vader, but the IRS shut it down.

They're run by a guy who spells his own last name as "Trakker."

Other than Marvel, has anyone gotten a shared universe off the ground successfully yet? I mean, WB will probably make money, but everything else is just…plans right now.

Coming in Summer 2021: Brand Ecch v Inferior Five: Dawn of Super-Hip

Sadly, Mum-Ra was no threat compared to feline hip dysplasia.

Fun fact: male cats penises have retractable barbs that rake the female's vaginal walls as they withdraw at the end of coitus!

I guess now we know why Hasbro held onto the rights for nearly two decades without actually making any ROM toys. They were really playing the long game on that one.

Don't forget his amazing two-handed translator device! Why, with that gadget, he could understand anyone in Switzerland!

M.A.S.K., the show about cars that turn into slightly different cars!

"Well, there are those sickos who like motorcycles *too big* to fit in their urethras. We call them 'Matchboxers,' but in Germany they have an eleven-syllable name and their own political party."

"Or, Hell, replace the fake gas pumps that flip over to reveal your secret base with actual gas pumps. Or stop paying Brad Turner and Gloria Baker a salary. He's a rock star and she's a champion race car driver! They have plenty of money of their own!"

"I think you mean…crime -and-a-half! Ha! Ha!"
"I"m gonna need you to turn in your M.A.S.K. Mask and pick up your severance by Friday."

"I like to play 'Ballad of the Green Berets' while making love."

"Why buy the cow when you can spout sexist cliches for free?"

"Oh, is that what one looks like? Somehow I thought it would be…more."

This being the AV Club, I'm sure someone will start Hayden on it.