Yeah. That's it. Story assumes that readers are familiar with the Wings-Avs rivalry...this being a sports site, and all. Plus, he was being a dick. But I wasn't taking the bait.

Yeah. You'd like him. He's as gay as the day is long.

No. He wasn't a hockey fan at all. "Just to be an asshole." (As mentioned.) Wings-Avs rivalry was heated.

When my son was 12, he asked for a Colorado Avalanche jersey. (I'm a diehard Wings fan.) He wanted to be an asshole. So I got it for him. And then I asked whether he wanted Patrick Roy's number (33) on the back.

Trainer: What's your name?

Once, when a woman I called put me on "hold," I discovered that the phone's handset would create feedback if it neared the base. So, of course, I turned it into a Jimi Hendrix routine - waving around the handset like an upside-down Strat - replete with Jimi voice and Jimi guitar. During much of this, I hadn't realized…

The best defense is a good offense. So, yes. It's Tony Romo's fault. Especially for calling the audible on that last play.

Points for "schadenfreude."

...And he was stitched up in time to play his next shift.

Is it wrong for me to hope that both teams maim each other?

I figured. She's was, perhaps, a little star-struck in the company of Will Ferrell.

Way to teach our young people that it's okay to lie, commit rape, and cover up one's actions. And we wonder why the world is going to shit.

Right. And, do you know why? Because we Lions fans don't deserve to have our color listed among the others. P.S. Broncos blue the game last night.

I know that the Detroit Lions use "Honolulu blue." And that many fans (including me) recognize that the team will never be considered serious with a color that harkens to Hawaii. (Great article somewhere that discusses Tampa Bay's improvement once they discarded their original orange-and-red in favor of the blood red…

Andrew Jackson was pretty studly, too.

Wait a second...that's a WOMAN?

Always wondered whether the Soviets' method of building rockets in a horizontal configuration, then raising them vertically, had something to do with their lack of success.

So...what happened? Did anyone catch the asshole who stole the car - and smashed several others??

No class. Wish he'd been pushed out of bounds.

I'll upvote any comment that includes a likeness of or reference to Freddie Mercury any time.