The good thing about altezza-style taillights is that I knew from a distance which cars to skip over entirely when I was judging VW shows.

Whenever I read about the Dutch Reach I fell inclined to tell people about my own technique, which I’ve dubbed the “Portuguese Look At The Fucking Mirror Before Opening Your Fucking Door”. It’s great and can be used in tandem with the Dutch Reach.

That’s exactly what I did?

While I can’t comment on residual value, I will admit to saying “lease car” immediately before doing anything stupid in the Fiesta ST while I had it.

I would have gone with “Lease a Veloster N(ot)“

Tom said that in his article already, but your huffy whining really helps.

This is a prime example of early mussel car.

In storage since new.

Minor water damage, low miles, ran when parked.

Correct!

ummmm pretty sure eldorados and toronados have TH425 transmissions

This is required, obviously.

Not crazy. At dealerships, they’ve done this for 25+ years. But it was only the in the past decade or so that the devices got cheap enough for a regular person to buy. At auctions, you’ll see them everywhere.

Actually, I use a metal thickness gauge that I like to call “a big ass flathead screwdriver.”

Love the paint thickness gauge photo...although I’m sure Tracy uses a similar rust thickness gauge to grade his possible purchases.

I’m sorry... Are we just going to glaze over the whole “measuring paint thickness” thing as if it’s a totally normal and not fucking crazy thing to do?

THE VAN HAS THE FIVE SPEED STICK OMGROFLCOPTER

This is the one and only time I would pay anything for that ugly fuckn thing just to see the proceeds of such bro-ness go to something like the Trevor Project lol.

That photo was taken at Radwood last year and it was a requirement for all cars on display.