RGIII? I think he’s in a two-dimensional Phantom Zone panel. The Phantom Zone: Where Once-Winners Are Banished.

Money trumps tradition again.

Christ, I can’t think of a worse duo to promote your business than Mike & Mike. Whatever happened to the last guy?

“This doesn’t offend me.”

I can dig it.

That would allow for some sweet Jumbo-tron intros.

“What an amazing tribute.” - Dan Snyder

Recommended replacement:

Still better than the logo of the National Association of Police Organizations

Leading Red Gives Message to America’s Children: “Get Cancer”

I assumed the kid in question was Zack Hample.

If we can’t laugh at kids then what are we doing, really

Plot twist: but the wish was to be told off by a major leaguer.

Unverified fact: the kid’s Make-A-Wish wish was front row tickets to a Giants game.

The kid’s lucky. Zack Hample would have elbowed his throat for one of those gloves.

These kids with their silver spoons. The Votto family didn’t even own a spoon! When they ran out of food they ate little rocks and grass. Piece of shit millenial-spawned entitled one-percenter. Fuck this elitist 8 year old.

“If you think about it, on land, discovery of new species of large mammals is exceptionally rare.”

Dolph Whalegren

Japanese “scientists” are eagerly updating menus, setting out condiments, and looking forward to “studying” this noble creature. With wasabi.

This is why I’m not a zoologist. While others would validate their findings and announce to the world that they have uncovered a whole new species, I would have walked away saying