I will never fully understand your Smart obsession, but goddammit do I respect you for it.

I would just like to say that any decision makers that select “allen head bolt or screw” in a vehicle should be kicked in their respective genitals.

Dude, you need to include a trigger warning or something. I can’t stop thinking about all the ridiculously frustrating things I’ve encountered when fixing cars.

Now do you understand all the bitching mechanics do about the “damn engineers” I was a professional mechanic for about 13 years. I can not tell you how many time’s I said (some yelled) I wish the f%&king engineer that did this was here. I’d shove his dick in a pencil sharpener and every minute over book time I would…

One of the few times I saw my dad lose his cool was about some shocks on a Malibu. Fronts weren’t a problem. Backs were. So the shocks were the type that had the top just threaded. The bracket on top had a nut. After lots of complaining and a trip the hospital for getting rust in his eye, he realized the nut on the…

VW says: ASSUME THE SERVICE POSITION, SLAVE.

Also, anything that requires a weird-ass tool (that I don’t have) to complete. Like a split socket. F-that time for some vice-grips.

The Diver Down and Fair Warning records are unfuckwithable. Full stop. Don’t @ me.

Poundcake is one of the hardest rocking tunes from the Sammy era imho. The power drill was a fun addition, but Eddie’s harmonics behind the verse and Mike’s metronome-steady sixteenth note playing combined with Alex’s driving drum track just make for a solid rockin’ tune. 

I’ve groused about this before. Neil Peart and now Eddie are gone, but somehow Keef still walks among us. It defies explanation. 

Back in 2004 my wife & I drove from Long Island up to Montreal for the F1 race, and I filled the 6 CD changer in the trunk with the 6 Van Halen Albums *(the ones w David Lee Roth of course) and after about 3.5 hours my wife says to me: Man - How long is this album ?

Frankly, I’m fucking OVER the whole Sammy vs David thing. It’s beyond tiresome. Why can’t more people appreciate both? Your point is right on the money.

I used to make mix CD’s for ripping around at night and Atomic Punk was always the opening track.

Speaking of Van Halen and fast cars... The little drum diddy at the beginning to Hot For Teacher always reminded me of a big’ol fat cam V8 drag motor idling on the line...

Heh heh heh heh... one break, coming up...

C’mon Dave, gimme a break...

Respectfully, any list of Van Halen songs that doesn’t include Unchained isn’t much of a list...

Well, with that embedded tweet, he did bring the goddam Germans into it.

The roof’s name is Felicia