For $2000 a month mortgage I have a 3400 square foot home on a large lake. It has three bedrooms, four baths, a large study, den with 30 foot vaulted ceiling, media room and super nice kitchen with a full basement. Move south y’all! We’re not all redneck Trumsters. Some of us are educated, well read, politically…

I was the sole customer in a dry cleaning establishment during an armed robbery. I froze. I remember thinking that if I make myself very small and very still maybe he won’t see me. I understand freezing. I also remember freezing when I was five years old being fondled by my teenage cousin, but that was more from…

No botox! No fillers! No plastic surgery! I want the world to know how pissed off I am. Every line and age spot shows what I have survived. It’s a big fuck you, I’m still here assholes!

I would be in prison for murder if I was married to that buffoon. His constant need for attention is so grating and her annoyance is so palpable at times I can only imagine how unhappy she is. I can see her divorcing him within a year. She is the brains behind their brand and they both know it.

It’s those damn eyebrows. That is all I see and I get distracted.

Here you go. I wrote this several years ago about my childhood summers in the mountains

He’s my boy crush. I’m so ashamed of what goes through this geriatric granny’s brain when Harry’s sweet face crops up on the tube.

What??!!! Oh, you were joking. I had a glimmer of hope for a fleeting moment. You know, visions of an exploding heart.

Vlomit.

Is it just me or is Pitt getting that Clark Gable squinty eyed look as he ages?

As a woman who experienced sexual abuse at a very young age I applaud her taking a no nonsense approach in her testimony. On my first job after college I was climbing some stairs ahead of one of the engineers at the company who was twenty years older and the husband of a coworker. He felt it would be okay to grab MY…

There’s a tone to this piece that leaves a bad taste in my mouth and seems a bit cruel in its intent. Maybe I am not sophisticated or urbane enough to appreciate what is perhaps an awkward attempt at satire. I just felt bad for the friend. I know many good, kind, salt-of-the-earth type people who would never deserve…

It was my weak attempt at humor. I’m pretty honest with myself and usually the same with others.

I have been a born again virgin multiple times, thank you very much. That way I felt like less of a slut because every new lover was my first. See what I did there?  

Saw him. One of the most fun shows I have ever experienced. I had the foresight to bring some extra large lawn and garden trash bags but still got mustard stains on my shoes. It was a blast.

I’ve seen four of them, most recently Love, my favorite so far. I think Cirque shows are better from a higher viewpoint. I would have missed some great visuals if I had been close to the stage for Love in particular.

You know some of us southern rednecks are educated and articulate and can put together a whole sentence. We are as much a melting pot as any northern or Middle American city. This becomes quite tiresome after a while. There are rednecks across this entire country. I’ve traveled from the east coast to the west…

For me it’s Noosa lemon. I know it’s really like dessert. Especially if you crumble up some graham crackers on top then it’s like a lemon pie. Works with key lime flavor as well. I’m a child at heart and I am unashamed.

Actually it is improper etiquette for a man to offer his hand to a woman to shake. The woman should offer her hand first or it is perfectly fine for her not to shake a mans hand if he offers it first. This is according to my 99 year old school marm mother in law.

I think Nora suffered more than any other character. I personally think that the transport failed and she was broken and prthaps had a total breakdown. She was teetering very precariously prior to the event. I think this is what her tormented psyche gave her as a means of coping. Seeing Kevin again I believe…