Meh. You can claim you’re smarter at baseball than a 20 yo who just won the first ever playoff game he played in if that gives your life meaning. :)

Lost me at that part where the dollar bill from the Long John Silver’s drive-through is the sanitary part of that transaction.

I saw him and Theo Epstein splitting a bottle of wine

There is mounting evidence that it will literally cause your brain to explode. 

With a pinch of casual racism...

I assumed it was some sort of seizure.

Shot Wad Facializes Black And White.

choosing which team will employ him for virtually the entire rest of the good part of his baseball career

This is tough because Harper was/is fun as shit to watch play, but personally insufferable. Dumb and self-righteous and also just dumb as dog shit.

This would make for a killer remake of ‘My Blue Heaven.’

It’s not a game.

If this were a drinking game, you’d be drunk as hell by the start of the second half.

Um, dude had his hands up. That means “I’m open!” Center simply didn’t lead him enough.

Him returning as a TV analyst means he took a pay cut from the last time he was on the field 

Let me show ya somethin.

Yes

I've never met the man, but I feel safe in saying that Tom Coughlin is most likely a complete and utter asshole. 

RIP in peace

Jimmy Neutron sure grew up to be a big asshole.

Its amazing to me that a company who is screwing customers and workers with price fixing using surge pricing AND declaring their actual workers as independent contractors, all to make more money, and they STILL lose billions of dollars a quarter