Really the Pluto demotion rather than accept all those other celestial bodies as planets is just so you Inner’s can claim superiority to everyone else in the system . BELTALOWDA!

It knows what it did!

Nah, Matt Gaetz probably has something fancier than a Santa Fe.

You can't trick me into clicking on a deadspin article!

Yeah... but that TruCoat though... 

TL;DR, I’ll let this guy explain:

i don’t disagree with the sentiments of this article. but every time i see, hear or think of Tomlin i remember this and i chuckle. every time.

Apparently I’m a sociopath. Cheers!

Mach-E auto... get it?

This was a terrible mistake by the Ford marketing team. They insisted on writing his name as Miles; and the French hated it. If they had used his initials as Ken wished, km, the French would have accepted him.

Equally impressive was being able to take a left turn in Jersey.

2Fast; 2Floorius

(while I’m making rules, if you’re requiring people to wear heels you want to continue to participate in society without being branded as a pariah, you are not allowed to have a cash bar)

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

I mean technically we could see if Darryl and the sister of Lisa’s relationship went anywhere. I think after Soul Glo went belly up Darryl rededicated himself to the study of medicine and went on to become a doctor and made an impact in his community. 

gripping my shit between my fingers like I’m some fapper

My daughter came home from school around the 3rd grade and pronounced me a drug addict because I drank beer.  That’s what they told her in class.  My wife said I was no longer allowed to drink in front of her.  I told them both to go jump in a lake.

Funny you should mention that, because I laughed out loud for the first time in a while at the dude asking if he can never drink or smoke again because he had kids.