How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Given the Jets, I figured it would be Armagetten. You know, no d.

Shit, I just read a whole article about a guy watching a whole preseason NFL game. Knowing full well the whole time that this was the topic of the article. What the hell.

At this point when I turn on the news and it’s more than two people set up in shoulders and up shots, I just turn it back off, and more people should do the same. It’s never a discussion that goes anywhere, no matter the network within seconds it degrades from conversation to a shouting match full of fallacious…

The real news here is a pitcher in the Yankees system has never committed a sin.

You really think he’d stick his neck out like that?

She’s too big for him?

Okay there’d be no dry food left if we’d all gotten our groceries tossed in a lake after we criticized a Jaguar drive.

MLB Official: Holy shit, he hit the roof?!?!?! What do we do?

Oh man this is very true. When I was in high school and college I was all like, “OMG the SANCTITY of sports!” Now I just don’t have any fucks to give. Sports should be stupid and fun.

The world is a weird place.

1-2-3-4-5? That’s the stupidest combination I’ve ever heard of in my life! That’s the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

Unorthodox strategy by the Bears but at this point you have to try anything to keep someone in a Packers uniform from crossing midfield.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

Great car to crash into a fountain after faking your own kidnapping to extort your rich husband.

50 Cent can throw a helmet better than that.

I mean, that is total fucking bullshit. First of all, why is it incumbent on the batter to get out of the way. Don’t throw at the batter! Second of all, it looked like he was keyed in, ready to swing, and then when he saw the ball was coming for him, it was too late.

Someone told them to set it up next to a bunker, and they did.

Normally Al Green says, “Let’s stay together.”