He stopped short? That’s my move!!

There’s a reason his name is Rick Renteria and not Rick Owneria.

“Guy, you HAVE a last name.”
“DO I????”

Heathens. At Coors Field you are only supposed to drink Fat Tire.

Sounds like Admiral Jazzy Pants is just thinking about himself instead of what’s good for the company.

ReiNCe PRieBuS

Oh, you said the last two movies. My bad.

I was really high.

Just tell the players to openly smoke weed. Will they suspend entire teams? I mean, I don’t care if this is a good idea, I just want to see Mt. Take explode when 3/4ths of the Seahawks post on Instagram buying weed at a dispensary.

That explains it! He got to exactly 333 total playoff games as a numerological tribute to his beloved triangle and, forgetting he’s now GM and not coach (because, like, weeeeed, maaaan!), has worked incredibly hard ever since to stay there.

Only semi-relevant, but: “So I Married An Ax Murderer” is the most underrated comedy of all time.

Also, how the fuck is Alyssa not the #1 Milano in the ranking? The fuck kinda bullshit is this?

Thunder owner fighting; very, very frightening...

“It’s a bit odd to hear criticism over what gets put into the Thames, from a collection of people who once a year purposefully dye their river an even more putrid shade of green.”

Why do they hate Rolen? Because he wasn’t Mike Schmidt? Didn’t they kind of hate Schmidt too?

I thought it was because George screwed up his swing...

Five good guesses?

“I bought a baseball team just like George! Why won’t you love me mom?”

Good boy.