Martha Stewart has a system for everything.

Gruden at halftime: “I’m damn proud of that offense. To go against the Bears D and only punt once the entire first half, that shows we’re on the right track”

Sideline Reporter: *head explodes*

OK, C-ya later!

Isn’t his district closer to the Gulf? Save the Planet, and drive into the nearest watery abyss.

Rapaport: “Plagarism? No way. I properly mentioned this came from sources”

His own personal mushroom cloud.

You’re not getting enough pork fat.  Gotta balance the fats.

Are you trying to tell us something “When you get to watch Nick Foles in your locker room, it’s hard”?

In peace he tried to share his RIP in peace. And you want to war over it? Peace.

I like to watch!

Throwing Man injures Throwing Hand Throwing Hands, Throwing Hands up on Season.

Are you my brother? That sounds exactly like my son

Ouch. Too dark before my first coffee.

The deGrom comment makes me think Ramos needs some “couples counseling” on how to better handle pitchers.  Get Dr Ruth on-site asap.

Is he still a #3 pitcher with a 2.22 ERA? Take away all the bloated Ramos starts, and maybe he’s in the Cy Young race.

“Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared next Friday, ‘I have a good team.’”

But can we get it in cornflower blue?

“We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we fly your planes, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.” Indeed

Are you sure the friends aren’t the buttholes?

The Zero Effect begs to differ on your Bill Pullman take