It’s a shame John Cazale won’t be around to play him in, say, Weekend at Donalds.

Guns don’t kill people. Mansions (with guns) kill people.

I wouldn’t be bragging about your package.  Bah-dum-dum

Or is working on heading home with the other guy.

Plunk him anyway

I can’t believe I misspelled ‘Strop’.  Kinja-fail.

I’m surprised Paddack waited as long as he did to deliver the pitch.  My guy Pedro Stop would have thrown it when the batter put his 2nd foot in the box.

It was tricky finding an ‘I’ word for this, so I went with what the Florida Man was probably thinking. (I don’t agree at all with him, just making a joke.)

Without looking, how do you know “Brock Holt” is white? OK, looks at name again.  “Never mind”

A founding member of the ‘We Harass Insolent Teens Everyday’ brigade

Even though we’re not supposed to talk about it, only in death does a member of Season Mayhem have a name. His name was Nicky Delmonico.

“XYZ Dodge, where you always save more Manny!” is right there for the taking

Wouldn’t he be called “Outfield Fly Rule” instead then?

There’s a base joke in there with the opposite verb to “Go Cubs Go”, but I’m not the guy to make it.

Isn’t that a real check?  IIRC, anything you sign can be cashed if it is obvious that your intent was to give money.  Now, being defrauded on video might help Manny, but only if he can beat Blooper to the bank.

“I”m not sure NASCAR thought” is all you had to say.

Does the math... Zing!  +1

Um, your “Black Tie” example has a white tie.

Um, your “Black Tie” example has a white tie.

Didn’t a Sox-fan father/son combo beat up a first base coach at Wrigley once? [edit - that was this game!  The KC jersey threw me off]

I can’t believe you’re slandering the Giants like this. They’re the model organization for racial equality. Native Americans, Azerbaijianis, Sardinians, Pakistanis, and Yap Islanders, have each started just 1 less game at QB for the Giants than African Americans.