It’s more interesting if it is “the rose goes in the front, big guy"!

On my travels in Europe before the Euro, I came up with “International Beer Units” to compare prices. First, buy a beer in the new country then compare every price to how many beers you could buy instead. A pizza is 6 beers, that's too high. A hotel is 20 beers, sounds good. This was a pretty effective measure, since…

No, but he did have Little Chocolate Donuts for breakfast. He is a champion, after all.

The last thing we want to measure is what comes out of Bartolo's colon!

“My personal guess is they have no respect for mankind, but professionally, I don’t know.”

Obviously it's 3) Get hit by a car

Usually, I don’t like speakers who repeat themselves. But it took the second “Seawards!” for me to catch what she meant. Very clever!

My wife had brain stem surgery 13 years ago, and she came out fine. I hope your friend does, too. See if you can keep the stress off your friend. I think that helps.

It has been a while since I've had an actual "out loud" laugh! +1

I applaud the restraint all these Texans showed by keeping their guns safely in the gun rack.

Imagine if Bautista reached back and hit Beltre's head. He would have gone Tasmanian Devil on the Jays!

You're just being Polaroid

Isn't #3 really "Put In your place"?

The Donger does not approve!

..

Didn’t his mother come off the spaceship at the end of Close Encounters?

Ho Ho, I laughed at that one

As a longtime Cubs fan, I'll relish the day a Yankees or Cardinals fan says "Oh, look at Mr. Winner over there. What a smug jerk!"

Don't you mean Van Hool?

One of the graphs says it is measured at 55 feet. I assume that means from home plate. This would give any pitcher room to release it.