Must have been a spitter at second, then

Drew, President Trump doesn't go 6 months before he purposely bankrupts the country to get access to the (currently) overfunded social security funds and sweet National Park System's land. Plus, he'd privatize the Navy just to have his own aircraft carrier, bought on shaky credit of course.

Any rational person would agree, but who said humans are rational.

Not a Yankees or Jeter fan at all, but the guy did have 3000+ hits. I think he'd be HOFer anywhere. Heck, my Cubs could have used him back before we tried to get every young shortstop on the field at the same time.

You’re 5 foot nothin’, 100 and nothin’, and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Western Michigan..

He definitely threw his glove. The ball isn’t there yet and both his hands are empty. This would have held up under review, if Maddon had challenged it.

Death Penalty!

The cheerleader agreed! (Sorry, it was too easy to pass up)

I don’t think Goodell knows what he is doing!

Notre Dame Fightin' Irish & Harley would be a close second, IMO

At my company's first office, there was a secluded conference room no one ever went to. I get the bright idea to talk my girlfriend into fooling around there. Not 2 minutes in, the cleaning lady opens the door, takes a couple steps in the room, spies us, and does the fastest pirouette right back out. That ended my…

Memento, but get the brain wipe every time Leonard does! You'd have to write yourself notes or something to keep track of what is going on.

“gentleman caller" sounds like someone who should leave the money on the nightstand.

I think he misunderstood how fast Jiffy Lube can actually change your oil. You need to take it out of 4th gear to get a decent oil change.

What are the other celebrated unlikely events, to go with Fat Guy TDs and Pitcher HRs, that warrant a Deadspin post every time they happen?

That’s funny. I’m sure he won’t hold the ‘asshole’ comment against you! ;)

I tried to talk my wife into the Abe Vigoda / Joe vs. The Volcano wedding "You want to marry her... You want to marry him... You're married!". She didn't go for it, sadly. Instead we had a lesbian UU-er officiate, which worked out great.

Sorry if that was sarcasm, but you know that guy was Drew himself, right?

that is a far, far better joke than you have ever told before!

I have 2 boys, 10 & 9, that are a constant eruption of noise, music, and fevered chaos.