Little kids cry all the time for nonsense reasons, you don't have to treat every moment like their emotional future is IN THE BALANCE.

P.S. DISAGREEING WITH HOW ISRAEL IS HANDLING IT'S "SITUATION" DOES NOT MAKE YOU A JEW HATER.

Team Legolas!

I imagine it's probably hard to recover after seeing your parents do this. It's not pretty.

You mean to say that a Christian corporation doesn't actually give a fuck about the children they so loudly and repeatedly claim to care about, but instead they're just a bunch of self-serving, greedy capitalists!? I'm shocked.

It's only at 47%

How's the water pressure?

"I was pretty hard on Mittens "Mittsdemeanor" Romney during the runup to the 2012 election, and I still wouldn't have voted for him, but since losing the election, he's really grown on me as a cool old guy."

How will boys, already conditioned to sexualize girls at a young age, internalize this big booty of yours?

Whoopi Goldberg, you are making Jenny McCarthy be the reasonable one! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.

This puts me in the uncomfortable position of having to agree with Jenny McCarthy, and I don't like it.

......OF THE POKEMON VARIETY

"She also refuses to vaccinate me. PLEASE HELP."

I feel like you should have your adult card (seeing rated R movies, buying alcohol, voting, that sort of thing) revoked when you say things like, "My daddy knows some pretty important people."

Just look, he's so charming!

Def Flynn Rider, though I don't feel bad about that at all.