I am not.

After Nick’s mother apologized,

because that’s what being pro-choice is......no choice.

Call me when he does. I would like to be non-judgmental and safe with him as well.

Apparently I’m a man then, I find penises generally hilarious and will laugh at farts until the day I die.

If Chris Pratt ever feels the need to be naked in a safe, non-judgmental environment, he is welcome to stop by my apartment any day of the week.

Counterpoint: farting *is* hilarious.

I seem to remember them banking on some people never getting out of their overalls . . .

WHY Will Forte and Steve Buscemi!? You are both so much better then Adam Sandler and his movies.

The real Mark Twain plays the role of “dead man doing barrel rolls in the grave forever”

Kim: Martha we are looking for a personal chef.

I wonder if anyone ever comes here and is like "Oh my god, that was me."

I am popcorn Santa! Thank you for spreading my message. May you all have free boxes of popcorn, forever.

so good.

Managers who don't stand up for their employees are THE WORST.

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Santa Claus of Popcorn could totally kick Deranged Santa's ass.

And none of it is for you, potato lady!

"I don't need to justify how I earn a living any more than you do."