I totally get everyone's outrage! I really do!

Somewhere in our youths or childhoods, we must have done something bad.

What are the chances he can smolder like Christopher Plummer?

OH MY GOD. You just answered so many of my relationship questions. Must call my grandmother and scold her for insisting I watch Sound of Music as a young child.

Really, it was only the existence of Han Solo that interrupted this for me. So you know, I ended up with two types instead of just the one.

Carrie Underwood is terminally boring. "As boring as a snail dreaming about cotton balls", as Lindy would say.

Only acceptable if you post drinking game beforehand so we may all participate.

I blame Christopher Plummer for my poor choice in men: the aloof, distant, unavailable, stern and complicated ones. They never turn into the Kaptein Von Trapp in the second half of the movie.

Here are my thoughts:

This kid right here is all 'Oh god. Don't mess up. Don't do wrong in front of the First Lady, keep it together, keep it together....'

Shelley Long was the hooker in Night Shift. Rebecca De Mornay was in Risky Business. I know this, because like you, I'm forty.

I am confused! Does this mean that Dodai is nasty or not? [think back to your 90's (it was 90's right?) pop people!]

I'm not sure what I love more: police procedurals or the idea of Steve Carrell spoofing them. Life is hard.

In related news, I'm literally writing about solutions to pilling right now! (Well. Not RIGHT now because right now I'm commenting on Jezebel instead of finishing this week's cleaning column BUT it's right there in the outline I SWEAR.)(Why am I yelling so much??)

Kinda nuts how make-up can turn Kim Kardashian into both Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce. ...sorta.

Joanna Coles can kiss my lily-white ass. I'm 40, and I have a head laden with messy, rebellious red curls that go past my shoulders AND I AM KEEPING THEM. They will turn silver and wiry and I won't give a fuck.