Interesting, Lauer tucks it like a pro.

Well if nothing else, "I am jealous of Matt Lauer's tits" wins the award for Most Improbable Thing I've Ever Said.

@Dodai - was there any man-loving human alive who DIDN'T have a crush on Ponch? I went to meet him once (he was the celebrity guest at a car show in my town) and he was totally kissing all of us 15 year old girls full on the mouth after we got his autograph. Talk about things that seemed hot at the time that you…

How was pic 1 in this story NOT Al Roker's Mr. T?!! That was pure genius!

My office is having a costume contest, today. As the receptionist, I'm allowed to participate, but I feel like, as a hardcore nerd, I'd be cheating. Don't nobody do Halloween the way I do.

Hello, goils! :*fweeeee* Omigawd, those costumes fill me with inordinate amounts of joy! Note-perfect right down to Shirl's hair and Lavoine's oversized monogram.

Oh Willie.

This is the cutest!

Dear Sean,

[A] "pick up artist" is like a sandwich artist, except much more embarrassing to sleep with and much, much less likely to have a footlong.

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those feminist cunts, n***a.

I can't not say that out loud. It is lit-trally the best.

That will lit-rally never happen.

She is lit-erally a prick.

Where can I buy Mistakes by Riccardo Tisci? (Seriously, that cracked me up.) But one clarification Callie - Jay Cutler, unfortunately, is not an NFL star. An oft-injured, much-hyped, NFL quarterback for the Bears, yes, but not a star.

Secret Squirrel Kanye is a one pathetic attempt at a conundrum - pretending to be militant to incite the ire of white folks while desperately courting their approval.

"they are lighting up a pair of doobies, smoking grass, enjoying a leisurely bit of ganja (do I sound cool enough to hang out with Rihanna and Snoop Dogg?).