Oh shut up Mara Wilson!

You mean this?

Wait, what? Kim and Kanye got Vogue and I got Time?! AYFKM?!

This. Anyone who behaves like that has to be living a miserable existence.

I literally — not hyperbolically — almost threw up in my mouth when I read that cheesecake description. And I LOVE cheesecake! Like, there is nothing you can do to cheesecake that won't make me want to shove it in my face hole. Or there wasn't, until I read that menu.

What is a French Montana and why is he wearing that stupid hat?

Just as "quit being so fucking awkward" has become my internal mantra since reading Rebecca Martinson's work of art, I believe "sloot" will become my new pet name for my BFF.

Am I the only one who automatically thinks anything Lindsay says is either a lie, exaggeration or some other form of manipulation? #sorrynotsorry

Well, if you read her IMDB bio, you might not blame her.

I would just like to point out that, at least according to IMDB, this girl is 16 years old. At first glance I thought it was Jessica Chastain, who is a beautiful woman in her own right, but she is 20 years old than Miss Thorne here, who doesn't even look like she's having fun.

Dodai for President!

I'm no body language expert, but there's something kind of hilarious about this pic.

Should a child with the flu receive six vaccines in one doctor visit? Should a child with a compromised immune system be treated the same way as a robust, healthy child? Shouldn't a child with a family history of vaccine reactions have a different plan?

oh my god! You just reminded me that I had a nightmare that I dropped my newborn baby onto a concrete floor and the sound of his head hitting that floor was so real andso awful that it woke me up and haunted my thoughts for weeks!! Jesus!

I have shared this story before, but it's worth repeating...

Are supposed to believe that these are high school "girls"?

I don't know. The idea that I should fixate on my armpit skin is still dumber if you ask me.

Tina and Amy in a movie together? Hell yes! I would pay to watch them do the dishes together!

It's all fun and games until he grabs a handful of hair and tries to yank it out of your head.

"...the epic display of elegance and class that is the upcoming Kimye wedding..."?