Imma let you finish Rob Schneider, but Dennis Miller is the best ex-SNLer to secede from the Democratic Party.

I have one kid who is always trying to figure out my password and one that literally turns his back so he can't see it! Guess which one I love more...

Exactly! My 5yo nephew spent $400+ on my SIL's iPhone a couple months ago, all of which was refunded by Apple, which seems to be their standard practice, by the way; but she didn't change her password, nor was she even open to the idea of not sharing her password with her kids.

She's one of the founding members of Steppenwolf Theater in Chicago and she is AMAZING on stage, too!!

DAMN IT! Now I'm going to have to get HBO!!!

I didn't notice this before, but with the blond hair, she's got a real Beyonce thing happening, doesn't she? And is her skin a couple shades darker than usual?

Speaking of holy shit guys*, I'm pretty sure there's either a serial killer or a skunk, or maybe a skunk serial killer in my basement. I'm also pretty sure I have a fever, though, which is probably why my husband doesn't believe me. If you read about a family who loves cereal being killed by a skunk tomorrow, you'll…

She looks like a Fembot in the dress.

It was actually centered on his triceps or biceps, or whatever hotness is happening just to the left of Jesus.

It was actually centered on his triceps or biceps, or whatever hotness is happening just to the left of Jesus.

This was my favorite:

Looks like Kanye is dressing her again. She is grating as hell, but no woman that beautiful, with that much money should be subjected to something so unflattering.

Perhaps sarcasm?

Oh my God! You guys!!! Look at the first picture in this DListed story...

Please tell me the movie is not really called Dumb an Dumber To.

Yeah, this picture is going to tide me over nicely...

Respect, you say?

Is he duck facing? And I thought I couldn't hate him anymore!

Oh for the love of Christ! I am too drunk and too exhausted from life for this level of stupidity... And to top things off there's one of those jackass orange ladybugs on my ceiling,

I thought about that. What would you have to say to get a company like Apple to just flat out send someone to your house, no questions asked? Not only that, but how out of touch do you have to be cough cough MARTHA cough cough to post something like that on Twitter?!?