I watch YouTube every night after I get in bed but before going to sleep. But I watch, like, music videos and stand-up comedians and highlights of old sitcoms and shit. I feel very happy knowing I am ignorant of all this shit.

You dont seem to understand that you are as awful a person as any MAGA hat wearing person. We don’t need people like them or like you.

As a fellow “hefty” person, this guy gave us big boned people hope that we may one day reach the peak of mashed potato mountain. RIP big guy. We raise our wings to you.

Someone’s been buying their milk from Halliburton.

i’m just here to get into fights with people over how much matlab sucks

Let’s just leave it at $6.9

I don’t understand why an event occurring at a known date in the future wouldn’t account for estimated inflation...unless...and hear me out here: hosting the Olympics is a nearly bottomless money pit and is always run by sleazy rich lying assholes.

Michigan alumni are so pissed they haven’t been caught up in this yet.

This is chief among the reasons why I refuse to run.

Girls have cooties. Duh.

Now I am concerned they won’t be receiving the Edible Arrangement I sent.

I like how the NBA has sort of organically embodied the ethos of “There’s no use in trying if you’re not the best.” It speaks to me.

I’m pretty sure not a single billionaire ever got where they are by ranting in the Gizmodo comments section.

Gonna be “that” guy that defends Hamilton...(gulp)

Thomas Jefferson must be rolling over in his slave.

Ron Howard’s voice: It wasn’t.

As a UCF grad, I can attest to his mindset.

He doesn’t need as much money now that he’s learned to stop spending so much on porn.

Basically only a goat can have accidents like that.

he sees the future.