So good....
jkopftwins
jkopftwins
I dated a freelance Jazz pianist for like, 45 seconds, and he once played me an original jazz tune in the nude the morning after and I was just like... uhhhh sounds great but what I could really use is some excedrin and a cup of coffee thanx bye
“Compassionate conservative”
My mother had a boyfriend who knew how many days until my 17th birthday starting when I was 14, and referred to the age of consent as “ripening.” As an adult, I have huge red flags to that shit. Say that anywhere near my kid and I will end you.
God’s Gonna Cut You Down. I’m partial to Johnny Cash.
“Song for the Dumped” by the Ben Folds Five. Lots of yelling.
I ... think ... I might get this. No, seriously. This might be the solution at my boyfriend’s house for “where to put the clean sheets and towels, no, not on the floor, you are 39 years old, why are you still living out of a laundry pile, and did you really just smell your underwear to see if it’s clean oh my god”.
You know what? I think he actually was. From the minute this guy threw his hat into the ring I never thought he had the slightest interest in being president, he just wanted some attention to sell some books and get his name out there again. And I honestly think he never intended for it to go this far, and now he’s…
I’ve seen the skinny tie go in and out several times in my life. I love the look, but it comes with two warnings. 1) It’s a look best worn when young and 2) a look that suits thinner people because on a heavy person it looks a string attached to your head which is now a balloon.
The big showoff.
When a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean
C’mon Giada. Everyone knows you’re not supposed to start dating a man until he sticks to the wall when you throw him!
Yeah, as I posted elsewhere, my husband actually missed the birth. I thought it was because he was stuck in traffic. Turns out, nope. He was stuck in traffic but managed to make it to the hospital in time. Then he stopped to go to the bathroom on the way up to the OR because he kind of had to pee and he didn’t know…
not harry styles
Bearded Chef rocks the mank when he goes and does big mountain bike races. He cuts the sleeves off and uses one as a bandanna and wears the top as his kit because then “it matches!” Which ... he is not wrong.
The instructions at Groupon are marvelous.
Yeah, my husband likes to complain that he was really uncomfortable sleeping on the pull-out couch in my room after my emergency c-section. I feel for the guy.