“While it’s a great story and all, Beyonce has the best light-up bracelets of all time.”

Maddie I have never played Cathy why are you spreading internet lies.

And, shooo, do you remember how long you’d have to hold that exposed ankle steady, so that the daguerreotype wouldn’t come out blurry? It was rough back then. Kids today don’t know how easy they’ve got it.

This is the smartest thing anyone has ever said on the internet.

Look,

Two rules:

Texas

Two five year olds looking at each other’s wee wees are “Playing Doctor”. A 15 year old adolescent molesting a five year old is not. Never mind that there were multiple victims, multiple occasions over several years, and often the victims were originally asleep, so they weren’t ‘playing’ anything.

Takes out the trash. Does not ask first if you want the trash taken out because you are not the queen of the trash and knows that there is no reason you would say no.

Also the hidden cost of fishing the East river, the multitudes of poor dead gangsters that will be deprived of their sleeping partners.

My co-workers were going on yesterday about how the Duggars aren’t that bad. I had to educate them about this robo-call. I’m sorry but, I’m not sorry to see their fall from grace so to speak. Hypocrites.

I found this gem too :

Isn’t it amazing how Mike Phuckabee thinks that letting young girls listen to Beyonce is bad parenting?

I wasn’t angry until I reached the age at which many women have children, and discovered that many, many women (both with and without children) did not progress in their careers at the same rate as men.

I’m 56 and cannot understand why younger generations AREN’T as angry. Give it time. It grinds you down - even with the battles won, the shit is still there.

My aunt, who is my older female mother-figure/role model has a visceral reaction to Mad Men she cannot watch it. She's tried, as we are (not closely) related to one of the actors. She can't watch it because, as she says, she lived it.

Can we talk about the costumes?

I’m a middle-aged white guy. A lawyer for more than 25 years, a professional. No criminal record. If I got drunk on a plane and assaulted a flight attendant, I would expect to spend several years at some not-so-friendly federal prison camp, at the very least, maybe even a FCI.

Eh, we all need a hobby. I have GAD, so mine tend to be calming things, his seems to fit his disorder just as well. More power to that fuckin' racist piece of human garbage. What?