I totally could see Pop living on a sailboat in Marina Del Rey, just like the actor who played The Most Interesting Man in the World.

Knock knock.

...will reportedly replace him with retread Bruce Arena

Committing long term to a Cousin sounds more West Virginia and less D.C.

For people opposed to the “nanny state” they sure are keen on government interference in people’s lives.

We call that Freedom Foam.

It’s fine, but too often the ribs are broken.

Pretty wild that Stormfront can’t find a single fucking grammar nazi.

You get cow marrow out of chicken wings? The fuck kind of animals they breeding in your neck of the woods?

Look at John D. Rockefeller over here bragging about his bottles.

Wine comes in a bottle?

If you’ve ever gotten the wind knocked out of you, you know what that feels like. If you haven’t, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, first of all, you have to realize, I’m not talking about some kind of literal wind. I’m referring to your breath. But the metaphor doesn’t stop there. No, it goes on, much like the…

No big deal; keys get lost all the time.

I guess rainy days and Mondays really do get the Carpenters down.

And proves that some suck-ass messed up his code, which explains why he malfunctioned a game ago.

Back in highschool I could jump my truck clear over those mountains over there.

Only a Jewish carpenter got nailed harder.

The thing is, no one told them what the Mannequin Challenge is. This is just a normal moment on that private jet.

She went on to blame Hillary for Bill’s past infidelities, including his affair with Chanukah Lewinski and rumored misconduct with PauL’Chaim Jones.

This is good Ninja.