“Just put your mouth around it, Bill.”
“What? That doesn’t sound right.”
“Listen, the last time they did this was 108 years ago and my great grandpa told me about it, okay?”
*sigh*
“Okay...”

Desperately making jokes for no compensation other than a brief ego boost, hmm, I don’t know if the Deadspin commentariat is going to relate.

The sevynty syxers really screwed this one up

They should call it ALL CAPS STADIUM.

Doing the best I can, all while eating dry white toast and drinking room temperature tap water.

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

“Let’s go to the tape...no not that tape Kevin. The tape is clear that...no I don’t mean the clear tape. I mean the film. No not the film the adhesive leaves behind on your cheek...”

Here’s to hoping Cleveland wins the world series to put their trophy next to the cavs’, and then the browns pull off an 0-17 perfect season.

I couldn’t agree more. We were all robbed of the opportunity to watch that ball bounce off his head without interference.

Geez. Even the refs don’t watch WNBA games.

You speak truth about yelling. When I am in US military, I become supervisor of division. I never raise voice. One reasons, I tend to break into old language when very angry. The main reason, you raise voice, you have already lost.

Me and a buddy watching a Kansas game when Mangino was coach. Camera is on Mangino holding some kid by the jersey screaming into his face. My buddy blurts out in convincingly frightened voice: “Don’t eat me coach!”.......I nearly choked to death on my pretzel.

Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

Its also a thing that turns lights on and off. Silly nintendo.

Q: How do you like them apples?

These stories are always the best when they come from a team that royally sucks ass.

When they fill the infield with water?

“Why are you sitting on it?” one man said.

Holy shit am I excited to watch Rick Ross talk about Mo Vaughn!