KILL THE HEAD AND THE BODY WILL DIE

The only aliens allowed at Augusta are the grounds crew.

Saw a bunch of fans eating Skyline at the Reds game yesterday

stabbers HATE these 5 tricks

“I liked that scene where Ironing Man and Whore and the other Revengers went for some schwarber after beating the aliens.”

That’s disgusting.

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

Emmitt Smith: So he is not liable. Very interesting. But tell me. Does that necessarily mean he is truthable?

Even “honkies” has almost no effect. You really want to make white Americans experience what it feels like to be the victim of a stereotype based purely on the color of their skin, make a shirt with a white cartoon face that says “Racists”.

Maybe Uber it next time?

You forgot to throw in "dank" every fourth or fifth word.

Totes. Just a bunch of ‘ots hangin’ at the ‘Spin ‘fice on a Weds’ talkin’ ‘bout ‘cados and veg sandos.

In Soviet Russia, drugs take team.

“A very unpleasant situation has occurred. No further comments”

The Spurs are just sitting there waiting for the next pick up game like the cagey 40something at the recreation center, adjusting his elbow pads and using a special solution to clean his sports goggles.

Worse than the “wait until your phone is out to talk” is the “wait until you are almost asleep to bring up major decisions” move. If I am in a bed with my eyes closed, it is not the time to discuss mortgages, career changes, children, etc. Are you an insane person?

All teams involved in these games will probably have to send some sideline staff members home in order to avoid going over 140 characters.

Tracy Wolfson’s reaction is the real star of this video.

Pretty sure that reaction was due to him hitting the confetti button.