One time my brother threw a quarter into the toll tray from two cars back (the guy was one coin short and taking forever). The gate went up and I actually applauded from the passenger seat. This is the only thing I’ve seen that compares to that.

I know. It’s about my next door neighbor.

If they’re shoes, they were cordwainer-made, not tailor-made.

Makes perfect sense that he would retire because he’s concerned about his Abdullah oblongata.

The headline is bullshit, you should see me rock an Excel spreadsheet.

I can understand how some people might mistake that for Satan, but that is clearly the archangel Gabriel’s cat named Snickers that jumped on the food image transmitter.

For zero American dollars you can walk right up to a horse, any horse will do, and whisper, "I must become a muscle king." The horse will drop kick you to the Realm of the Sweaty Emperor, where you will do power squats until your legs are massive enough to affect the tides. Once you've lifted every weight in the Realm…

When beating Duke, celebration krzyld be kept to a minimum.

Has Jordan Sargent had butter yet?

I guess they could be saying that nobody is outside because they’re all watching the game. In other words, this is such a big deal in Cuba that nothing else is going on.

For some reason, I read this whole story as Rod Serling.

You sit to pee???

Meanwhile, the Browns are looking to find “the current Johnny Manziel.”

So its next port-of-call would be a Boaty call?

I think Michael Irvin is more concerned with rules on who’s holding.

Thanks for the wonderfully illuminating description of your shooting technique, which many, many NBA players are studying now in hopes of improving their own game.

“But he is right that MSU doesn’t usually lose early in March.”

That’s why I prefer Arizona over Georgia. It’s the dry hate.

I must reply this video. I am not from USA or big college basketball fan but you all know I am big regular basketball fan. I want to give my regards to the Northern Iowa on a great team. May you gentleman gain the strength to carry on to more victories. In particular I hope you gentleman get pleasures tonight from the…

Well, why else would the kid on the bench be wearing that “Always Dripping” shirt?