Psh... JR puts up 55 every other night.

This is a rip off of my 1992 single "May I Please Put it in Your Butt?"

A just God would also have Brady throw for 4 touchdowns and the Patriots lose 0 fumbles in a losing effort. Just so we can all shut up about deflated balls.

Assuming you and the doctor are the same gender, the HMO seems more appropriate.

Note: not a Seahawks fan, even a little bit.

He fucked a horse? Last year he fucked a Colt and the year before he fucked his Cousins.

"My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and deflate the ball at the same time"

Name one ginger with exceptional ratings...

Already out of ideas for this experiment, eh?

If that's the second-worst food poisoning of your life, I'm dying/not dying to know what the first one was like.

Bryant's Song

There's no better Ugg spokesman than a guy who publicly gave his girlfriend the boot.

And if you're that Australian boot company, you're saying to Tom Brady, "Hey man, women don't like cheaters."

This whole lawsuit could have been avoided if both Dez Bryant and the Texas Department of Criminal Justice would have executed a little more.

HENDRIX: Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced?

Hey kids, who wants a pizza this big?

Why is everyone asking him? I thought it was obvious that Gisele owns Tom's balls.

Eleven balls? Everyone hated me for cheating with one ball.

Na Trang Valley, North Vietnam-1968

If I'm Paul Allen I pay whatever fine he incurs.