The penalty was for not wiping or washing his hands after.

Disappointed that Katy didn't use this stage to change her lyrics from "I kissed a girl" to "I hit a girl".

I'm only not there cause your interview seems unkind.

Letting gay people in football and televising the World Alpine Skiing Championships?

Ball Boy Quickies 1: 90 Seconds in the Bathroom

Andy would like to remind you that the Beast Quake barely registered on the Richter scale.

That is a very half-hearted Stevie Wonder impersonation on the left.

Clay Matthews is not amused.

Beep Mode

"I'm only here cause I'm fine"

I thought the Bible says that we only have to worry about worshipping Cavs.

Nevermind the SATs, he's about to teach these girls how to get a perfect score on the Wonderlic.

Genie: I grant you three wishes, what would you like?

"See? They all look the same."

"Michael Vick, you think that dude got herpes?"

A just God would also have Brady throw for 4 touchdowns and the Patriots lose 0 fumbles in a losing effort. Just so we can all shut up about deflated balls.

Not sure about Marshawn, but Jay Cutler is doing his best to mock our right to Bear arms.

Assuming you and the doctor are the same gender, the HMO seems more appropriate.

So many of us would have just sat on the couch and never got the nerve to ask her out. At least he took a wrist.

I thought a Target Browner is when you are doing a chick in the butt in a Target dressing room and then someone steals your credit card number.