I’m thinking this:

If you blow up a bathroom within 30 minutes of a meal, it is not THAT meal that caused the problem. If food is running through you in 30 minutes you need to go see a doctor. Now.

Man, these guys really won’t defend anything.

Not pictured, the too hard shelf and the too soft shelf.

That bare closet is now a bear closet.

A bear in the closet. And during pride month?!?!

I thought the unifying influence in New York was being a dick and thinking that somehow just because you live in New York you’re somehow better than other people.

2022 Model Refresh.  Now includes complimentary snow plow!

Toyota's actually been doing this for quite a while now.

In my experience, shitty places are just doing a single fry for the potatoes, rather than a boil and double fry. And please, man, while French Fries are a quintessential American food, English food famously sucks.

I generally just go with KNEEL.

I am literally devouring a shawarma and falafel platter with EXTRA onions right now. This is a good take.

I live in the PNW, and “walking kombucha burp” just saved me eons of time thinking up witty ways to perfectly describe the men I’m with on half my dates.

Then why post it at all, dude?

By far the dumbest comment ever posted on The Takeout. Yes, Italians know nothing about pizza. 

There’s no mistaking buildings that used to be Pizza Huts,

I had no idea what Heul is, so I clicked the link to find out and it sounds disgusting—mostly because the only flavor description I could find on the site (I didn’t look that hard but I also shouldn’t have to) is the consistent claim that it’s “delicious!” which is what all vile-tasting things say.