I’ve trying to nail down the sirecz (Slovak Easter cheese) my grandmother used to make every Easter. It’s a deceptively short recipe (dozen eggs, quart of milk, sugar, salt, and peppercorns) but she never really measured the sugar and salt. One of those “I know how much it needs” things. I’ve come pretty close,…

my reason for being there involved the color blue and the letter “F,” if you get my drift.

yeah, the only few times I’ve been to Chicago was South Deering, and I really wasn’t keen on skulking around there looking for shit.  not that I had all that much time anyway.

I buy that stuff in the big jar and just eat it out of the jar.  I enjoy pickled things that aren’t cucumbers.  my favorite is kabees el lift, pickled turnips.  but if they use food dye instead of beet juice, it can scare you into thinking you have intestinal bleeding. 

rule of thumb is if the menu says “with au jus” it’ll probably suck.

I will say that despite my hooting at the crazy toppings on a Chicago dog, I did enjoy the one I had. Though it was at the Elwood Grill in Detroit, so hopefully they got it right.

If you make a roast, you dip the bread in the pan drippings, right?

The sandwich is either splashed with or dunked in the beef gravy, depending on your preference.

then Yoplait came in which was barely yogurt. 

are they still offered in the clove, tobacco, arsenic, and saltpeter flavors? 

I’m ashamed that I had to read the headline more than once before the pun “clicked.” 

They say that nobody wants to see how the sausage gets made. I’ve seen it (and made it), and let me tell you, it ain’t that bad. On How It’s Made, a TV show that delivers exactly what it promises, the audience is shown the sausage and just about everything else.

That’s what I’m talking about!

I was completely underwhelmed by the Home Run Inn pizza I bought.  it was bland and reminded me more of grade school cafeteria pizza. 

I can change the meaning of your headline, without changing a word. Look:

to be fair, outside of (urban area) most states might as well be Alabama.

You mean “Meal Team Six?”  Or the “Gravy Seals?”

there’s probably one place in Morgantown where all the Yelp dweebs go. 

if they really wanted to troll people, one of the designs should be a bottle of ketchup next to a steak. 

yeah, this is more like “#1 takeout item by ‘Yelpers’ in each state.”