Use a false Social Security number to come to America and spend 20 years doing honest work and raising a family and we’ll exile you.

The Posthumus Dick choice was indeed an Easy D.

When Trump said he would create 25 million new jobs I bet no one thought they would all be working for the ACLU.

Gronk looks like he’s constantly showing women the IMDB page for The Entourage Movie.

The math teacher in me is like, reduce your fucking fraction, but the joke part of me is like, yes, go with this.

Is this the movie poster for Rocky IV Loko?

The world would be a lot nicer place if we could all be 6/9ths as happy as Gronk.

All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work and no play makes Tom a fancy dog. All work…

Sounds like you need to refocus your synergies into a new paradigm shift.

There is no greater sense of pride and accomplishment than when your work team comes together to pull off a project that took literally all year and caused you pounding headaches, relentless anxiety, and lost sleep so that a few of the results can be taken and plopped onto a single PowerPoint slide and delivered as a…

Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax… YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I’M LIVIN’ IN THE FUCKIN’ PAST! 

I’ll never understand why you americans have one centre-right party and one Evil Party. Why not vote the evil one out!?

It’s weird that he’s writing this with the implicit premise that he is not blaming anyone or looking for sympathy, yet every sentence still somehow translates into “WAH WAH WAH WHERE ARE MY HOT BITCHES I DESERVE THEM”

Yes, I’m sure the American people will start voting in their best interests soon. Any time now really. Wait for it. Aaaaand.....

It really is the 1% and the fucking rest of us. Fuck these people. They aren’t even gonna get in trouble for basically getting bribed to give a billionaire hundreds of millions in taxpayer money.

The people who get laid the least? Fucking weirdo dudes who are obsessed with getting laid. Meet people. Treat them like people. More often then you think, these people will want to have sex with you if you behave like this.

This could have been a good piece about the linking of sexuality to male identity or how hard it is to live in a society obsessed with sex and not having any or just the pain of being rejected again and again. Why was it this?

But more importantly, he realizes prostitution is legal in plenty of places, right? Why…

What a strange and wholly unconnected set of events!