Hmm...interesting

Females you say? *tips fedora*

I'm using this advice right now at work...

Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

Cody Decker should be a commenter here because that was good Kinja.

That trick play will never stop bringing me joy. If it was the Browns it would be near perfect failure. Only the butt fumble (which should be memorialized in the Smithsonian) is better.

Huh and despite my thousands of letters, phone calls, and random appearances at her house Taylor Swift won't even send me the one lock of hair I want. Some people have all the luck...

Nothing like a beautiful summer day on the shores of wang pond.

Damn kids and your fancy high-tech “oven mitts”. In my day we just grabbed scalding hot trays of oatmeal raisin and gravel cookies (none of this pansy chocolate chip) right out of the oven, and we loved it.

The Hardy Boys and the case of the missing nip.

Go Roughriders/Rough Riders!

Go fightin' Wildhawk Cats!

I just ask what beer she wants, because after sex beers are the best beers.

Like it hasn't been our day, our month, or even our year.

Same here. It just feels so right to say it's from the Onion. As if actually admitting someone like this could own an NFL franchise will make reality collapse on itself.

I would enjoy Brock destroying the Lazy Stabber.

Lazy stabbing would be a great band name.

An Eagles fan would aggressively attempt to hit that bird. Swerve into another car in the process and cause a massive pile up on the highway.

Are they already making Bad Moms 2?

Just wait until the Olympic ping pong calendar comes out oh la la