Nice.

Yup, you nailed it. They didn’t come to that decision in iMessage.

It’s called acceleration. Perhaps your car doesn’t have it?

Maintenance is a snap on this model!

Room for more batteries!

Yes, the animals will all run until they can no longer hear it. ;)

‘bioweapon defense mode’

Also highly recommended.

Hair will clog the filters, but dander will fill all the gaps.

Dander

... like wandering into other lanes and rear-ending people will looking at their phone?

Maybe the pizza’s good?

Oh no, the pizzeria’s notoriety will last much longer than that.

Apparently the base hit left him giddy.

The urea injection chamber in my pants is about the same size.

But her religion tells her that she should hate gay people.

In all fairness, you can’t grab someone’s helmet like that. Still a cheap shot and lousy.

Looks like someone could *fall* and get *impaled* on that thing.

He is, as my colleague Hamilton Nolan wrote, our best friend.

OMG, what happens when you actually see a black person for the first time?