They are F-ing everywhere. The Mods on my archeology group have to do daily reminders of the guidelines. You know what I got instead of Birthday wishes from my Mom today? A pro-trump chain email. Jesus wept. 

Imagine the horror when they’re forced to assemble cheap furniture with only pictographic instructions and a hex key.

I had been a poor student for years, sleeping on an air mattress in a sleeping bag, when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her I wanted a duvet to replace my sleeping bag and a real suitcase to replace a weathered duffel bag. She implied she had some extra money that year and asked if I had a…

We get together with my dad and his wife somewhere hovering around Christmas. Though they have lots of cash, they are extremely frugal and prefer to exchange white elephant gifts. So my husband and teen daughter are there, along with several cousins, their partners, and two kids. We all give things like weird…

They owe her an anthroapology.

It’s like you could use his forehead to stream Amazon originals.

Whoever invented that elfin/pixie hairdo for men with the little pointed wing up top should be shot.

Take your fivehead and your botox and your hair gel and fuck off, dude.

Dude, I don’t enjoy your purposefully-mussed and gelled hair, I don’t enjoy your edgy biker jacket, and I don’t enjoy your old-guy-with-a-young-shtick shtick. I most certainly, then, will not enjoy your dick.

When bad things happen to bad people.

Maybe when the basis for the company’s existence was a grift, present management would do best to stop borrowing more to throw good money after bad and just close it down in bankruptcy. This con has gone on long enough.

Nah I’d take a photo of every cheque they send to pay off the $1 million and then when the book is filled with those images send it off as a personal reminder.

Fuck these people.

The couple seem like the sort of people who:

PREACH. I get so sick of people acting like taxes are the living embodiment of Big Brother/King George III/Darth Vader placing their iron boots of oppression on our collective neck. TAXES ARE HOW WE PAY FOR CIVILIZATION.

My blue eyes are really light sensitive. So...painfully blue? I mean I need sunglasses in the winter. Basically any day.

Thank you. I’m confused. If I tell you my feelings about you, I’d like a fucking response.

(obvs not directed at Marie, directed at the fucks who don’t give a flying fuck about women)