You don’t need a headset when Jesus is calling the plays. #blessed 

I don’t think so, Jerry just loves an ass-kisser and Jason Garret is the ass-kissingest ass-kisser who ever kissed an ass.

This is literally the same thing that happened with RG3 and Shanahan, right?

You have no fucking idea what you would do.

Its amazing how men always know exactly how they would react and exactly what they would do if they were ever forcibly raped by a man (let alone a very famous man) when its something they have no reason to ever worry about.

“That's OUR job!"

“That’s like re-segregating the country, why would we want that? Besides of course the reasons Tucker Carlson and I lay out every night.”

Browns fans have tempered expectations down to only going 15-1.

A plague on both your houses

+1 Alderaan being blown up by the Death Star

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

The Raiders Have No Idea What To Do With Antonio Brown

Hell, my doctoral regalia is red

Red and yellow feel like pretty obvious choices.

What’s the hood and tassel color for a communist indoctrinator?

I would frame that email and put it up in my office just like I framed the printout from the College Republicans website at a previous university that declared me a “communist indoctrinator.”

White people like Desmond Howard because he makes Stuart Scott look like Malcolm X.

Good god, that’s exactly where this is headed isn’t it? We’re going to be discussing whether he completed the process of the clap and completed a non-clap football move.

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

Still not as scary looking as these two