Gronk will come out of retirement in the 2034-35 season so he has a chance to play in Super Bowl LXIX

I also agree that yelling at a teenager whose work pays for your *checks notes* $4.3M salary should be accepted in our society. Not working in an office means zero culpability in your actions towards people who you claim to be making “better men” or some shit. Also part of your job: helping cover for sexual assault!

I’m bemused that Izzo, who makes how many millions of dollars, behaved like a 5-year-old when interacting with an actual 18-year-old. He should be embarrassed. Would a professor at this esteemed academic institution be forgiven for acting the same way?

You’re right, he doesn't work in an office. He works at a fucking school.

Pay them, then

I’m sure a scene like this will make it into the next “A Day in the Life of a NCAA Athlete” video.

Man, my boss pulls that shit and it’s not worth it for even our (pretty good) salaries. Then again, we’re only getting paid in dollars, not an invaluable Michigan State education and the privilege of being a College Athlete. 

When your team of teenagers is physically restraining you and calming you down, it’s time to maybe re-prioritize some things.

Okay, “Thunder punch the turkey” got me.

Huh, I imagined it with a dogleg.

Once again, organized labor shows its power. HamNo must be thrilled!

When asked what influenced their decision to quit, the dogs responded that weather conditions became too ruff. 

You could tell me that Josh Hart, Moritz Wagner, and Alex Caruso were the stars of a new hit Netflix show, the members of a boy band, YouTube celebrities in trouble for shitting on a homeless person, and I would be more likely to believe you than they were three NBA players. 

Sure would be nice if this attorney had the same vigor and went after the schools that defraud their athletes by taking away their scholarships because a new coach who’s getting paid $7million got hired and wants to bring in his own guys.

Finishing up in Milwaukee would be a nice way to close out his career.

34-year-old center Andrew Bogut

The witness statement in the police report explains it pretty clearly: “hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you”

Well, I hope Draymond at least sends you a card on Father’s Day.

I’m jealous. My son just shrugs and walks back to the Playstation.

I do this to my son and he usually kicks me in the nads and I drop the ball.