I can touch the rim with my tongue.

America doesn’t say ‘Merry Christmas’ or huddle anymore. What the hell is the world coming to?

I don’t know about you, but going back to Cleveland just sounds like a different type of exile.

Edamame sucks. It is just a tasteless steamed bean that you pay $8 for at a Japanese restaurant. Fuck that.

I do not understand the physics of that last goal.

It is quite an accomplishment for 1/2 of the Bulls roster to be on the list.

Virginia McCaskey: *Revs up an old fashioned rotary phone* Hello operator?  

The Human Victor Cigar should be reserved exclusively for Brian Scalabrine.

Get the fuck out of here with the fucking junior mints being best. What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you ever a fucking child? If so you would fucking know better.

I hate myself for laughing at this. So stupid.

It’s the principle damnit! You are letting the rest of the plane know you are in self-interested douche.

Related to the overhead bin anxiety: Anyone who puts their luggage in the overhead bin sideways deserves to be flung out of the plane at 30,000 feet and crash into the cars below like Con Air.

And in the end, everyone wins

Whelp.... there go their playoff chances.

Best GIF I have ever scene.

“[Insert any person’s name] sure seems happy to be out of Cleveland” is a phrase that could apply to any person who has been there.

Wait... ya... I say couch! I’m an idiot.

done... just for those California folks

What the hell are these names? Gondola? Sarnie? Torpedo? Spiedie? Zeppelin? Spukie?

My grandmother is from Ohio and she calls it a davenport. I always thought of it as an outdated east coast thing.