I love to get my rocks off (pun) by reading about stinking, salty (like a vagina) Cardinals fans. They really hate that they got jerked around (pun) by these articles. I’m so glad the Cardinals blew this season (pun intended) that I am going to guzzle an entire bottle of their fans’ tears (get it? guzzle... like…

This argument is nonsensical. You first say she has paid artificially low taxes. You then acknowledge “the fact that she’s paid a lot” in taxes. 

“After a few seconds of freedom, the person slipped...”

The Sixers are a special kinda of mess. Maybe one of their 15 centers can play small forward.

It was a polite way to avoiding riling people up about me making broad generalizations about Bernie Bros or something...

This the guy many Bernie supporters are leaning towards now? He is basically the inverse-Bernie.

After I would go to bed, my roommate would strip completely naked and sit at his computer. There were times that I would wake up, he would notice, and would jump up and sprint into the bathroom. A guy has to get off? Not a problem, I get it. It was that he had to get totally naked in order to do so. And even though I…

Glad we could enlighten you on what it means to be a Cardinals fan.

ouch... +1

Back in the day, an 89 pitch night was just a regular Thursday for Maddox.

What am I doing right now? Eating cheese and crackers. Why do you ask?

He can try all he wants to remake himself as a southern rock star, but the dude wrote Bawitdaba and made Limp Bizkit (god I hate writing that) sound like the Beatles... so his chances at credibility/relevance are long gone.

Comments like this are almost as good as the ones to the Cardinals lost a game articles. They warm my heart.

This is the best Kinja. Subtle but effective. +1

Why isn’t anyone talking about the blatant NCAA violation going on here? The players got free pizza. That is clearly a violation of NCAA Rule 23.45(b)(ii)(C)(1). Though this is Florida State... so some booster probably paid.

That has become a common facial expression for Yankees fans.

Meters? Speak American.

All water sports, horse sports, sports that require holding or throwing objects, sports that require that I ride something, and sports that require that I hit something are all guaranteed to kill me quickly.

Open water swimming in Rio... because I can’t swim...

But thermite can.