Don't forget to bring your own candle.

Right? Stay home if you're that fragile a flower. All that stuff would also require a big ass purse.

Right? People act like reproducing is some kind of biological process that bodies are actually designed to carry out. You know what's really a biological imperative? Me downing this entire bottle of scotch.

" Instead of iced tea or hot tea, be sneaky and bring in your own teabags. You can ask for hot water and lemon and say you are sick."

You are the devil

Come on now. Pregnancy is your own fault. You don't deserve special accommodations for something you choose to do, as opposed to something outside your control like losing your license due to repeat DUIs.

Next step: Pack your own food and bring that to the restaurant.

Plus, the only fun in going out to eat is eating whatever one feels like at that exact moment. If you need to have a grand money saving strategy, why don't you just stay home and eat some rice instead?

23) Do not go out to eat with this guy unless you have no sense of shame.

Well except for this dude, who has apparently worked in restaurants for years yet still thinks it's acceptable to bring your own tea bag, make outrageous off menu requests, and sneak in alcohol in a flask. I am pretty sure the latter is actually illegal (liability reasons) and will most certainly get you kicked out.…

And be totally paranoid and don't enjoy a moment of it!

I don't feel any outrage, either; it's just a fact of how things are, and it's why I don't go out to drink.

I don't really feel any sense of outrage when it comes to alcohol markups. Yes, the physical product is heavily marked up. But the restaurant also has to pay for initial an ongoing training for wine/cocktail programs and pay to absorb liability costs. Plus, you know, all of the other costs associated with running a…

CHICKEN PARM YOU TASTE SO GOOD

"But it went way too far, and it wasn't very clear that it was a joke, that it was fabricated. If you read it, you might think that it was actually Tiger talking. The whole thing is completely ridiculous."

I hate it when my team picks a guy up and none of the players on the team call him.

Voice on phone: "GzzgWw eeRs GWzaaE jjj"

God, Cardinals, we know you love being "old-fashioned", but grow up and text already.

Hmmm. I thought she had already had one.

Still better than "Rude" by Magic!

I strongly disagree. The writing has been terrible, and Emma seems to be well on her way to destroying Jezebel like she destroyed The Hairpin.