I am in Atlanta. Swinging Richards is still very much alive and kicking (swinging).

There's a gay bar near me called the Cockpit. I enjoy the name.

My dad has three daughters, me being one, and no boys. He never treated us like it was somehow his job to protect our virginity (because that idea is creepy and just beyond fucked up). When we were teenagers, he emphasized the importance of being safe, told us exactly how to be safe, and told us that the most…

I think he subconsciously conflated them, but we were able to confirm that he meant C.A. Pinkham. BURNHAM PORTMANTEAU FOREVER, THOUGH.

Sometimes churches are the only kind of childcare/licensed childcare available in a given area. I see it all the time in rural communities. I have no idea if this applies here, but it's something to consider before being all, "JUST GO TO A DIFFERENT DAYCARE CENTER."

High-five, SEC-er. I would high-ten, but counting is hard.

I hope he's not taking an English exam.

Not all anyones!

And then Julie would ruin everything.

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS GIF. Oh, my sweet, beautiful Riggins. Thirty-three forever!

I like how she drops the sweet act and lets her asshole flag fly when she's drunk.

Laura Jeanne Poon!

I don't think he's paid any attention to the URL. But still, I was like, "Babe, you're 36. You're talking about the internet like you're 70."

I did make that distinction. "Then why is it on Deadspin?" Either way, he thinks you're hilarious.

You're pretty close to that funny. My boyfriend turned to me last night and goes, "So who's that C. Burnham guy on Deadspin? He is the funniest thing on Gawker media right now."

I mean, I think Sarah Palin should open her eyes about speaking coherently, where's my Mario Lopez interview? Mario, I'll dress like Jessie Spano! I still have my Earth Day denim purse from 1991!

I was gonna say ... I mean, I guess it doesn't count as a walk-off win call if it's not offensive? Craig looked annoyed as hell to still be standing on the field.

Why does my character have a pussy?

Yeah, I don't like reinforcing the whole "women are sexual gatekeepers" thing but I feel like maybe she meant it in a different way?

As a feminist with a keyboard, I beg you to just agree to disagree and stop following me around from thread to thread. We don't see eye to eye. It's fine.